"I would not interfere with any creed of yours,or want to appear that I have all the cures.There is so much to know... So many things are true...The way my feet must go may not be best for you.And so, I give this spark of what is light to me,to guide you through the dark, but not tell you what to see." -Author Unknown
Apparently Flo Gascon lets her kids eat ice cream for breakfast and Ronnie Maier (another unschooling genius mom) was inspired to host a blog carnival so she wouldn’t feel like such a loser so all us yes-sayers could shout it from the rooftops (or… our mommy blogs, as the case may be)
So before you announce that I’m crazy (as if I haven’t already confessed to that) check out the people commenting here because they’re THAT MOM (or Dad, maybe) too.
OK- I’m the mom that lets her 2 yr old eat a bowl of candied walnuts and rolaids, which she calls “drugs,” by the way.
The breakfast of champions
I’m the mom that photographs her daughter’s bloody nose. In my defense, she WANTED pictures.
I’m the mom that lets her kids kiss poultry
I’m the mom that lets her kids play with fire. That’s right, the kids like to light birthday candles and hold them until they burn down. They drip hot wax on the table and their skin and peel it off and mold it into other shapes and play chicken to see who can let it burn down farthest. Why not?
I’m the mom that lets her kids draw on their bodies with sharpie markers. in this photo, those aren’t serpents of Wal-mart, that’s actually the mark of the dark lord- that’s right, my kids are death eaters (I’m the mom that lets them read that evil literature) I do realize permanent markers might be toxic, but I’m also that mom that grows organic veggies and doesn’t buy a lot of processed foods, so I think we have some wiggle room in the carcinogen department. I also clean with natural things instead of chemicals, so I’m sure that helps, too.
I’m that mom who lets her kids talk to strangers. Terrible, I know. I have this backwards socialization theory that states “Everyone is a stranger until you know them” and that “just because someone is a stranger, it doesn’t mean they’re bad” and that MAYBE kids are smart enough to know if someone is creepy or not and if no one ever talked to strangers the world would be a pretty boring place. In fact, everyone I know was a stranger at some point in time. But what do I know?
I’m that mom who lets her 2 yr old sit at the top of a bridge. Honestly, it was horrifying. And we got down right away. We spent some more time climbing all over the bridge, but the kid knew it wasn’t a good idea and couldn’t wait to get off of the ledge. My only regret is that I didn’t sit taller. Yeah- I’m that mom.
I’m that mom who takes the kids to the playground after dark. And plays with them instead of supervising them. Sunshine is for suckers.
I’m that mom who spends WAY TOO MUCH on art supplies. So shoot me.
I’m that mom who lets her 2 yr old put on lipstick, and wear it in public. she felt like a princess.
I’m that mom who pulled over so my teenagers could take their photo with the Sealy mattress sheep (but a non disclosure agreement prevents me from posting their photos on this blog)
I’m the mom that sat in a parking lot so my 13 yr old could catch a rabbit and bring it home as a pet
I’m the mom (and I’m not the only one, apparently) who lets the kids skate in the house, mattress surf down the stairs, build tents in the living room, use the roof of the car as a stage for impromptu performances, stay up until whatever time they feel like going to sleep…
So my morning coffee is interrupted by …”She said I can’t come into her fort.” So I responded by saying “that fort is not more important than your sister and if that fort is going to be in my living room, then all of my children are welcome to play in it. How cool you are to have made a fort that everyone wants to play in. I have decorated every room in this house, and she chose your area to play in, what a compliment. You must be an excellent decorator.” So she marches over to the fort and says “You’re lucky mom loves you. Otherwise she’d never let you play in here, she says I decorate better than she does and she doesn’t want you messing it up.” I almost snapped at her for lying, but there was peace, so I stopped. Is that wrong?
Today we went to Fred Meyer to do some grocery shopping. I had some coupons that allowed me to get butter for 1.25 a pound, quite a bargain. We go through a lot of butter, like 5 pounds a week. We don’t use margarine or anything like that, just butter, and a lot of it. I might have mentioned that my 3 yr old likes to eat it like a banana. She has her very own stick of butter in her special spot in the fridge, so we don’t find teethmarks in “our” butter. She loves it when we run out and I ask her permission to use her butter. She always apologizes for the teethmarks. Sometimes she uses a spoon.
Anyways, we’re baking Christmas cookies for the neighbors. I don’t know why the cookies we bake them at Christmas are any different than the cookies that Meagan tends to bring them all year long, except these will have a card and a red ribbon yarn on them. And I guess, technically they’re “holiday cookies” because even though the town is overwhelmingly Christian, we wouldn’t want to alienate any Jewish or other non-Christmas-observing people by saying Merry Christmas especially because we’re not really religious even though my husband was raised Jewish and we’ve had some of the kids officially named in Hebrew.
That said, I also got an electronic singing menorah. I stopped off at Goodwill for cool plates to put our Cookies on, and they had this toy. I’m reading “A year of living Biblically” by AJ Jacobs. I don’t really know what that has to do with this silly menorah toy. Except that I like the idea of deciding to do something interesting for a year, and then write a memoir about it as you’re living it. it’s like blogging, except, like, you get paid for real and you might meet Oprah. So I’ve been thinking of Memoirs I could plan to write, and I think I should find a publisher for them.
“A Year in Hawaii With 6 daughters”
or how about “European Travel With 6 Daughters” or even “The Screaming Never Ends; My Life With 6 Daughters” or “1 Load of Pink Laundry Every Day for 30 Years; My Life With 6 Daughters” or how about “Is Everyone Wearing Panties? My Life with Six Daughters”
I’m leaning toward the Hawaii or Europe one. Hmmm, we have Russian roots, maybe “Our Pilgrimage to the Homeland With 6 Daughters” Maybe our girls could fall in love with boys from a culture that still gives us presents in exchange for their hand in marriage. We should learn how to milk goats.
I know people who think kids shouldn’t go to weddings or funerals. The first time I came across this perspective, I was shocked. Those are really important things in life- why shouldn’t children be included? The answer I was given is that “Old people don’t want a bunch of kids running around” in reference to the funerals and “People spend a lot of money on weddings, they don’t want to pay for other people’s kids.”
That concept was so foreign to me. I was raised in an environment where children brought joy. When I was a child, everywhere we went, old people were happy to see us. We had big family gatherings and very rarely were children banished to a “kids table” though quite often we CHOSE to sit with our cousins, rather than listen to our Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and Parents discuss politics, sports or whatever other dumb grown-up stuff they had in mind.
At gatherings with the “no kids allowed” crowd, I noticed that there was a specific kids table, and that kids were TOLD to sit there. I also noticed that the old people actually DID want to be around the children. I wondered if any of the wedding couples actually may have enjoyed the presence of children, but were discouraged. I can’t imagine having a wedding with no children around- it would be so… detached from reality, maybe?
I stopped attending “no kids” events and decided to bring my children to things, like my heart was telling me. I stopped discussing it with the leader of the “no kids crowd” and no one said anything rude to me about it. No one was rude to my children. Sure, there were whispers. In my opinion, if you’re whispering something naughty you KNOW you shouldn’t be saying it. I don’t care if people whisper. I care that my kids are exposed to life’s rituals and experiences as children. Keeping children away from weddings and funerals is downright abusive to everyone involved.
Children bring the light.
At a funeral, children are given the opportunity to mourn with a group, to see that everyone cries, to cry with others and know that all is well. Experiencing raw human emotion is VERY HEALTHY. After the funeral, while children may not want to sit inside with the adults, eating comfort food and retelling memories, their laughter in the backyard brings a REALITY CHECK perspective to everyone inside.
Kids give good hugs
kids don’t judge, they’re honest and REAL with their feedback
Kids remind us that LIFE still exists.
Kids give us a REASON to go on.
Weddings are often a magical, love-filled environment. How can we withhold that from children? The centerpieces, the flowers, the decor, the mini lights, the music, the fabrics, the candles are as close to real-life fairytopia as it gets. Why on earth would the spirited, loving presence of children be unwelcome?
In my opinion, weddings without children are hollow, empty, and just plain depressing. Standing around getting drunk is really NOT what life is about.
I am sure that it’s one of the consequences of institutionalized education that makes people believe that children should go through life without attending weddings and funerals. The belief that childhood is about “preparing for life” rather than simply living is truly EVIL.
Imagine going through your whole life and not even seeing a baby until yours is born. It happens. Or how about never seeing a wedding until you’re an adult. No wonder we have BrideZillas. They think the wedding ACTUALLY MATTERS. It’s not the wedding that matters, dear, it’s the marriage and the life that you build together. Will it be a life of excluding children because they’re inconvenient (or more likely, can’t afford their own gift)? What next, will you exclude the elderly, too?
As a mother of six girls, I look forward to up to six amazing weddings, filled with children in pretty dresses (and a few who won’t dream of wearing a dress) My younger children will attend their older sister’s weddings (not any time soon) and my first grandchildren will probably attend their Aunt’s weddings. I have (almost) 5 nephews, 3 nieces. They’re all (but 2) very small and are already invited to my oldest daughter’s wedding (not any time soon) because my girls love kids and because if children aren’t welcome, I’m not going.
Children are an important part of society and NEED to be included in rite-of-passage events and life transitions, both for the benefit of the child AND the benefit of everyone else that’s present.
An environment without children is not natural. It’s not normal. It’s not healthy. Children provide perspective (what’s important in life) and a sense of wonder.
The inability to tolerate the presence of children is a sign of serious mental illness.
Wanna talk about children’s behavior?
I know a lot of people hate that word, a lot of unschoolers hate that word, but that’s what comes up when you talk about having children at fancy restaurants and at weddings.
Children learn by practicing and by experiencing.
A child who is allowed to make their own decisions will likely not climb on the table at a white linen restaurant. It’s painfully obvious to even the most dimwitted of humans that certain situations require a certain level of decorum. And if they do, tough beans. Help them down & point out the inconsistency, then help them climb around in the bathroom or parking lot for a minute. Kids need to climb, suppressing a body’s need for exercise isn’t very smart.
Kids feed off of the energy around them and in a quiet place where conversations are low, they will generally only make “inappropriate noise” when no one is talking to them. It’s a parent’s job to keep children engaged in activities that befit the location. THIS is socialization, not “recess.”
I have an entire rant on ‘recess” that I’m saving for another day.
Children “behave” the way they’re expected to. Period.
A culture that’s critical of children for wearing their energy-level on their sleeve is ill-equipped to handle all SORTS of reality, not just the fact that kids exist.
I am sure that if we all ran around as much as children do, we’d be more fit and healthy.
There’s absolutely NOTHING that a child can do in public that’s of much consequence in the long term. Nothing they break can’t be fixed. Their presence will NOT cause me to enjoy myself less. If anyone present finds that they are enjoying themselves less because a child is present then I would speculate that they weren’t welcome as children and are, perhaps, in need of child-therapy, to learn that children NEED to be included in life. Children are the past and the present, not JUST the future.
Kids exist. Kids are alive NOW. Kids don’t need to get older before they take part in life. Weddings and funerals are important parts of life. Kids belong at weddings and funerals. Weddings and funerals need children. Their “behavior” is irrelevant. Their presence is invaluable.
Apparently nothing. I read a statistic about soldiers committing suicide. Apparently more of them are killing themselves than are being killed in battle.
To me, it was obvious that this indicates that no matter what we’re taught, or what we think we believe, that killing our own (war) is NOT natural, in fact it’s so deeply and disturbingly WRONG that there’s no way that even the most devious of military “training” (brainwashing) can convince a human to find it agreeable to kill another human.
Apparently other people thought it indicated that the soldiers need more mental help.
Really?
Not an end to war and killing for political reasons?
The soldiers are somehow in need of professional mental care, in order to help them be OK with the fact that they’re being trained to kill other humans.
I think that would be a horrible abuse of professional psychiatry’s commitment to “do no harm.” Why, then wouldn’t we go counsel murderers in prisons so that they can go on to live normal lives?
Killing is wrong- it’s natural and normal to be disturbed and bothered by it.
How about professional mental help for the people who are doing the training. Or the people who think war is OK. Or how about the kids who have no other way to fund their college education, so they pimp themselves out to the government, just praying to God that they don’t get sent soewhere dangerous and then can’t live with the fact that they killed someone.
Because killing people is WRONG.
Because murder is WRONG.
Because humans are humans and it’s not mental illness that these poor soldiers are suffering from, it’s because they can’t figure out how to continue looking themselves in the mirror each day, knowing what they did back there.
Because no matter how many people say “Thanks for serving our country” they know the real truth. They were sent overseas to murder people’s children. people’s brothers. people’s fathers.
This is America. How can we put our sons through this? How can people live with this? How can we, as a culture, simultaneously say “all life has value” and then send them over to kill people? How can a nation of people who claim to be following Jesus’ footsteps decide that this is OK? I don’t recall hearing of Jesus killing anyone.
War is wrong. It’s disgusting and wrong.
Soldiers who kill themselves aren’t mentally ill.
Killing people isn’t good for your sanity.
Training people to kill is just as wrong as killing.
Supporting war is wrong.
Supporting HUMANS is right.
The best way to support the young men & women who put on those uniforms in order to pay their college bill is to support peace. peace. peace. peace. And federal student aid that’s not contingent on the armed forces.
The first act of war is defense.
War does not lead to peace.
Killing your opponent does not make you a winner.
This is life. we’re here to live.
A soldier who feels wrong about this, instead of killing themselves, needs to acknowledge that this feels wrong, and instead of becoming ANOTHER casualty of the evil, devote their lives to peace. Don’t go looking for mental help drugs. No drug will make you feel alive.
Centre for research on Globalization A Sign of Empire Pathology
More US military personnel have taken their OWN lives than have died in action
The Sun’s Like Wandering Ghosts Edward Tick on How the US Fails its Returning Soldiers
Is worth a read, too. Edward tick helps soldiers restructure the way they see themselves and the situation, and refuses to give in to the notion that PTSD is a disorder and instead, acknowledges that it’s a healthy coping mechanism.
He also says “I believe, though, that if a veteran makes the difficult inner pilgrimage to discover the sources of the suffering, and works hard to give meaning to the wounding, and finds ways to reconcile and forgive, then healing is possible.”
“Difficult inner pilgrimages” aren’t really encouraged much around these parts, Gomer. This is America. Have an Ambien, instead..
His key to recovery is FORGIVENESS. Can’t buy that in a bottle. Forgive the American public for the lynch-mobs that occur whenever Fox News says that terrorists are responsible for something. Forgive the lawmakers and others who decide to send you to the warzone, after the obligatory handshake with a politician. Forgive- Forgive- and finally, forgive yourself for doing what you felt you needed to do at the time.
AND- here is the kicker. This Edward Tick is opposed to war. I wonder why.
And if only ONE thing from this entire post stands out in your mind from here on out, let it be this wisdom from Andrea Gibson, thank goodness for YouTube:
And Here’s another one, in case that didn’t quite convince you.
My husband is away in Alabama, working on a film for the next 32 days. I have a stack of books to keep me busy. I’ve actually started reading each of these, my goal this month is to finish them. Here’s my reading list. Nope, I lied, it’s not really 32 books, but it could be. I have a few alternate backup choices and I actually have a few books on the way from Amazon as we speak (love those ‘your book has shipped’ emails)
Speak and Grow Rich(because every attempt I’ve made at public speaking has SUCKED made me aware of how much I have to learn about being a good speaker) Jonathan Livingston Seagullby Richard Bach (it’s smaller than I expected, I’m surprised)) Dealmaking in the Film & Television Industrybecause, well… I married a man who does business on a handshake. Beyond Discipline: From Compliance to Communityby Alfie Kohn (this is for tonight- I nabbed it at Goodwill today) Human Be-ingby William P…something(though after skimming it, it doesn’t look as good as I thought it would be) House of Havoc by Marni Jameson (I scored a review copy from the publisher. I love the subtitle “How to make- and keep- a beautiful home despite cheap spouses, messy kids and other difficult roomates” ) Cracking the AP English Literature & Composition Exam (Princeton Review)(though I’m not really reading it, I’m skimming and checking to see which books are missing from our home library) Barron’s AP U.S. Government and Politics(totally reading this, high school hasn’t taught me enough about the government and since I fantasize about law school, I figured I could choke this down like candy, right?)
A middle school mom, Ann Wentworth of Fon du Lac Wisconsin wants these books banned from her daughter’s school district.
She’s petitioned the school (at the expense of local taxpayers) and lost the first request for censorship. She keeps adding books to her list. I imagine every time she reads one it ends up going on her list.
I’ve read a lot of these books and, she’s right, they suck. But they’re not written for me, a 35 yr old mom. They’re written for adolescent girls.
There’s talk of losing virginity, which is what the mom finds so offensive. Psychologically speaking, the characters are somewhat realistic (no more or less than any other crappy modern fiction) and struggle with the same things other adolescent girls struggle with.
I think this woman must have some kind of weird relationship with her daughter that they can’t just discuss the character’s decisions and move on. She’s become attached apparently to the idea that these books will be the downfall of moral society and must be removed from her daughter’s library.
I can’t imagine how embarrassed that young girl must feel, to have her mother parading around like she’s the literary police and all. I wonder if this ridiculous event will drive an even bigger wedge between her & her daughter.
Perhaps I’m being cynical to question her relationship with her daughter, but this action seems so extreme. ASKING for censorship? It’s just insane.
Maybe I’ll go petition for removal of all books that imply “learning comes from schools” or perhaps let’s petition to get rid of history books that only tell half the story, or perhaps we should petition to censor books that teach about western medicine instead of natural medicine or nutrition programs that include processed foods or maybe the religious should petition for removal of the science books that make fun of evolution.
Perhaps we should seek removal of all the books that teach kids about college planning, because it’s really NOT all it’s cracked up to be. Perhaps we should remove all the books about vampires because they might play biting games or fall in love with vampires.
For every book on the shelf, there is SOMEONE who isn’t going to like it.
To assume that the readers will develop an unhealthy lifestyle, habit, belief or fixation is really to give the books way more power than is necessary.
If her daughter goes out & has premarital sex, will it be because she read the stupid Sisterhood books? Or will it be because teens are horny, full of hormones and surrounded by people who have told them lies all their life, about everything?
When people are influenced by literature is it because they read the book or is it be because the book spoke to a certain part of themselves, calling forth ideas and thoughts that were already part of the reader?
If this woman would talk to her daughter about these books, instead of talking to the school board, she may find that her daughter thinks they’re stupid, or that her daughter thinks about sex constantly and wants some real guidance, or perhaps her daughter is indifferent. Maybe she’ll finish the entire series simply because she can’t stand to miss the conclusion, and not because she identifies sexually with the characters.
Anyway- these are the books that Ann Wentworth wants banned, enjoy.
Imagine that. I’m not sure what the point of it all is, but 15 out of a gazillionty is really good. I think I’ll celebrate. Anyone wanna run circles in the yard with me while the kids chase us? Didn’t think so.
One goal of mine has been to get the income from my websites up to a point where I wouldn’t ever feel “forced” to work. Well, I haven’t felt forced to work for the past ten days. TEN DAYS- that is a miracle for me, I find it way too easy to be glued to my computer.
In the absence of forced work, I have failed to harvest all my farmville trees and animals, though I have claimed lost calves, fertilized my friend’s farms and chicken coops and sent presents to all the children in my FarmVille neighborhood.
I found a few friends from high school and days beyond. I find it so strange that I see their name & face and feel so happy to have found them. It’s gratifying to see their photos, get a feel for their personality, lifestyle & career choices and then MOVE ON because I really don’t have much to say after 18ish years. I guess if we were together, chatting would be easier. It’s so nice to see them all, though. I always wonder if that one girl knew I had a nasty impression of her. She doesn’t appear to be bothered by it, if she does. Just to be safe, I’m not requesting friendship. Or maybe I should. What a complicated world this FaceBook is.
Speaking of FaceBook, I had the strangest experience. I’m sitting in the office at a church, working on their website and chatting with a lady who was doing paperwork. She mentioned a niece in Oregon that she just visited. A little bit later, she mentioned that the niece worked from home, writing online. THEN- she mentioned that the niece had 8 kids and I said “Jeez, I probably know her, it’s a small world, this online writing business.” The woman must have thought I was kidding, and later, she mentioned that her niece was a doula. The wheels started turning and I thought of a lady I first met online in <<>> Sure enough- this was the same lady. I don’t know why I thought this was a FaceBook story, except I went right to my FaceBook when I got home and sent her a note to say “Heyyy, I know your Aunt.”
Anyway, we had the most glorious day the other day. We were actually headed for the park when the girls unanimously decided that they wanted to go to the pound and walk a dog. We visited dogs and cats, then finally chose a friendly looking dog to walk. This dog was the absolute sweetest puppy EVER. he was so well behaved, he stayed right at my knee on the leash. i ran with him and when i stopped, he stopped. I don’t think I’ve ever held the leash of a dog that was so obedient. He was so sweet. We took him to the no-leash zone and he played fetch, he rolled over, he sat and it was just so sweet. If you live in Yakima & you’re looking for a dog, tell the Humane Society that you want Jordan. Then change his name. He’s more like a Buddy or a Mack or something.
Anyway, after the pound, I wanted a latte, so we drove through Mocha Tree. I got each of the kids a small cocoa. These are rare luxuries for a family our size. I didn’t stress about spills before they happened and, miraculously, there were NO SPILLS.
We planned to head to the park but it was pretty cold, so we went to the playplace in the mall instead. That’s like a playground, right? The older girls had some gift cards leftover from Christmas, so they shopped while The 4 younger ones and I hung out at the food court.
When the littler ones got sick of the food court, we all headed down to Claire’s because, well, because little girls are magnetically drawn to large amounts of glitter, feathers, beads, elastic and rhinestones. It’s probably hormones.
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Then, we had to leave. Meagan had dance class, so we headed to the other end of town to drop her off. I had to check Goodwill, I have a list of random things I’m keeping my eyes open for, so I tend to visit during Wednesday night dance classes. They didn’t have what I was looking for, but of course, each child found something she wanted. Gabriella found an American Girl Doll for $4 (SCORE) and Grace found a big bag o’toys, with plenty of Polly Pockets and Barbie clothes. Madelyn found a bag with about 8 Barbies in it, male and female, about 40% dressed.
It might sound like a typical day out with daughters, but I’m telling you, we DO NOT SHOP as a general rule. This was so much fun. I don’t think I have EVER taken them to the espresso stand. Buying them each their own drink was just SO NOT NORMAL for us, but it was glorious. Life is so sweet.
Last August when grace turned 4, I don’t know if I posted pictures or anything. Sure, I could go back through the archives, but that always takes so long for me because the “search posts” feature never works like I want it to and I end up rereading a bunch of old memories and saying things like “Oh I can’t believe I didn’t mention…” or “How silly of me to be stressed over…” or even just feeling old because so much has happened since…” So- I’m reposting birthday pictures. And an unsolicited product review at the end.
Grace's cupcakes
OK- unsolicited product review. These sturdy foil cupcake things. They’re baking cups. You don’t need a cupcake pan, you just need these foil cup things. Sit them on a cookie sheet and pour the batter in. They’re reusable (as long as you don’t spill) We didn’t re-use ours, I wasn’t that smart. I thought the silver was princess-y and so we left it on. later, It dawned on me that they could be re-used. Maybe next time. Here’s a shot of the foil cups. Interestingly, I got them from Wal-mart and these foil cups cost just a teeny bit (like less than $1) more than the paper cupcake things AND they come with paper liners, too. So basically you get your paper liners PLUS these handy dandy foil things for like $2ish.
Sorry I’m not the sparkly mom who wears makeup and jewelry all the time, even though you’re so good about giving me pretty things, I rarely decorate myself. Sorry about that.
I also wanted to apologize for not being the mom that controls every minute of your day. I was really surprised when you told me that you WANTED me to give you more school assignments. I hope it’s not because you feel that these silly asisignments will improve your life as adults. Maybe it’s because you’re bored. I know in your generation a lot of parents think it’s important to schedule each minute of their kids’ day, and maybe, for them, that’s love. But I also know how fun it is to be busy and how important it is to follow your OWN plan. I guess I was hoping you’d use your own brain to busy yourself. Instead of being spiteful and choosing things you’ll hate in an effort to get you to choose your own things, I will try to choose things you’ll enjoy. I know some people find comfort in having everything planned out for them, and since I was domineering like that when you were smaller, I guess maybe that’s why you need this from me now. Sorry for not noticing earlier. I will be sure to provide you with instructions for how you should spend your days very soon. I still hope you grow up to be able to occupy yourselves. I’m not sure how long I can plan things for you without making chore lists. Like cleaning your room, for example. Can we put THAT on the list?
I also wanted to apologize for not being the kind of mom who obsesses about breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’m a grazer, by nature. I munch little things all day long and I have read scientific evidence that this is a healthier way to ingest calories. It prevents morning sickness (when you’re pregnant, that is, and I have been for over 60 months of my life) and it also prevents diabetes. I’d be lying if I said I was thinking about diabetes whenever I put out trays of fruit, homemade bread, cookies, chips & dip or randomly baked things throughout the day. Perhaps I was also wrong to assume that all the meals you prepare throughout the day weren’t to be reduced from the amount of food I am suppossed to prepare. To be very clear, the hundreds of dollars worth of groceries you prepare (deliciously, I might add) are “extra” and not to be subtracted from my parental food-preparation responsibilities, is that what you’re telling me? I will try to do better.
I know you like dance classes, and I wanted to apologize for not being like the other dance moms. I notice them swooning over their daughters and obsessing over stray hairs and I just wanted to apologize for not obsessing over stray hairs. I think you look beautiful and stray hairs are so much prettier than hair-sprayed helmet hair. But it’s clear those mothers are displaying their brand of love, and I just wanted to apologize for not being so publicly loving in regards to your on-stage appearance. I also apologize for not being able to afford over $200 in dancewear for the recital that just passed. I know performing is fun. While I do secretly believe that the dancewear industry is run by kiddie porn freaks who like putting 3 yr olds in Las-Vegas Showgirl costumes, and designed to cater to families who don’t mind dropping $100 for ONE OUTFIT, that’s not why I didn’t get it. I honestly couldn’t afford it. At any thrift shop, I can buy 4-10 name-brand outfits for $100. $55 for one dance skirt makes my head spin. I told you this in advance and suggested you solicit help from grandparents and you chose not to. Stop hating me for it.
I wanted to also apologize for not being “normal.” I don’t plan to try overcoming this one, I’m not going to pretend to enjoy current TV shows or fake an interest in politics or celebrity gossip (is there a difference?). I’m not going to pretend I don’t like your music, I’m not going to go get a job outside the house or force you & your sisters to go to public school. I’m not going to paint our walls white or start eating processed foods. I’m not going to order cable TV service & sit on the couch all evening. I’m sorry, I’m just not. I’m not sure exactly what “normal” people do that’s so attractive to you. I do what I like. If it’s not “normal” then I apologize. I don’t see how it’s affecting you, except perhaps that I’m giving you something to overcome. Maybe when you grow up you’ll be “extra normal” just to spite me.
With regards to politics, I also wanted to apologize for the time I spend doing legal research. I hope you know I’m serious when I tell you that one day when you’re all grown I want to take the bar exam and make a living writing nasty letters and billing people for phone calls. Plus, it’s important to read the law. In the 1700’s that’s what people read. There were no “celebrity politicians” back then. Now, people just read the news. Even journalists. I read research and laws. Sorry, it’s how I am. It’s really time consuming, but I find it gratifying. I try to avoid it, but when I see a crazy news story, it’s in my blood to hunt down the original, official sources (and find out who funds them) to see the truth. I do try to avoid the news, for this reason. But I apologize anyhow, since the time I spend chasing down facts can affect the amount of money I’m making when I’m “working.”
Finally, I wanted to apologize for having your sisters. Sometimes, I agree, the six of you are a bit much. I’m not sure which ones of you I’d return if that were an option, but I wouldn’t push it if I were you. The little ones haven’t given me a list of ways I’ve failed lately, so, for them, there’s still hope.
I’m sure that over the next several years of being your mother, I will fail you in ways you may not even predict today. For that, in advance, I apologize.
Get over it, please. And let’s just enjoy each other’s company, OK.
This post was resurrected from last summer. I don’t know why it was still in draft form.
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Grace and Evelyn just love ladybugs. We bought about 300 of them for the garden and they love to pick them up & bring them back to the tomatoes every chance they get. grace is the official ladybug relocation specialist. She picks them up carefully, talks to them a bit, to reassure them that it’s safe, then places them gently on a new leaf. Evelyn just looks at them. When we first got them, Gabriella ran into the house jumping around like she had the heebie jeebies (or is it the creepy crawlies? If you ever do this, don’t wear white) She told me there were ladybugs everywhere “but I think they’re all off of me, now.” So I asked her to turn around and there were about 12 of them crawling in all different directions on her back. Anyhow, the ladybugs are feasting on whatever critters were in the garden. I figure if they ever run out of food they can zip over to the roses. Buying bugs seems kind of silly but they were less than $5 and I figure I can call it an educational expense, right? On the living room table, I have placed several ladybug coloring pages I printed, books about insects and even a few plastic toy ladybugs. I can’t wait until they come inside, they’re going to love it. I’ve always wanted to decorate a ladybug bedroom.
BTW- in “unschooling language” the act of strategically placing materials and activities that help kids develop their interests is called “strewing” It’s sort of like pre-school “learning centers” except kids have free and unlimited access to the materials to explore in a way that they see fit.
It finally hit me. As a writer, when I have a thought I am having a hard time expressing, it drives me crazy. I’m always searching for the right words to explain my thoughts. I know some people think in words, but I tend to think in feelings sometimes.
My second daughter loves animals. She’s always wanting to be surrounded by animals. She’s the one who had the dog-sitting business, kept her fish alive for 3 years and tries coming home with strays.
She’s been wanting a rabbit for a long time. We put all sorts of conditions on it, which probably wasn’t very nice. “Your room has to be clean, you have to learn how to take care of rabbits, you have to read about rabbits, you have to [insert condition].”
In spite of all of our resistance, she ended up with a rabbit.
Why were we resisting this, when our whole “parenting philosophy” mandates that we’re supportive? I don’t know. Something about the fact that I am not a huge fan of animals. I don’t like the work involved in keeping them alive. I could handle having some free range hens, if I was getting eggs from them. I love our dog, he’s really low-maintenance. I just didn’t want a rabbit. They stink.
So she researched rabbit bedding materials and found a combination , recommended by a friend, that basically results in no odor. She showed me, scientifically, why this combination is good. it’s something about drainage and pH. shreddy paper pulp underneath, topped with corn cob mulch.
She found a friend who was giving away a rabbit and coincidentally that lady was using the same bedding trick. Meagan was beaming when she heard the lady explain it to me. This rabbit, by the way, was litter-box trained.
Anyway- it took her a while to get this bunny home. Another way of looking at it would be that it took her a while to reach her goal. I don’t know if we handled it right, It’s not like my goal was to sabotage her. But if I hadn’t made it so much work maybe she wouldn’t have been so focused.
I don’t know.
Either way, I don’t think the rabbit gets out enough. It’s not getting enough exercise.
I wasn’t sure how to handle this.
On one hand, I wanted to say that “if you don’t take care of the rabbit, I’m getting rid of it.” On the other hand, “I’m so impressed that you worked so hard to get it, I don’t want to be the one to ruin your dream.”
I could blame it on her & say “I wouldn’t be getting rid of it if you’d take care of it” but then I am being “the judge” inflicting a punishment instead of letting her learn from life.
My next thought is that if she’s learning from life then the rabbit might die.
That did NOT feel right. If I did that, then I’d be just as guilty as she was.
So I took a quiet moment to try and picture what the perfect scenario is.
I want the rabbit to be healthy as long as it’s in our house.
I want my daughter to feel supported.
I want no conflict about the rabbit situation.
Scott Noelle taught me this trick. You just close your eyes and picture the result you want for a minute.
Finally, it dawned on me.
Instead of thinking in terms of “What should I do about this problem?” or “How can I get my daughter to take care of this rabbit?”
I decided that “I’m going to do everything in my power to see that my daughter succeeds.”
So often, growing up, I know I felt that my goals, dreams, wishes and hopes were ignored, ridiculed, and not important to the people around me.
I don’t think that’s true, looking back at things. I just think that kids don’t often communicate their goals in ways that adults see. If a friend of mine were to come to me & say “I’m opening a bakery” I would make an effort to recommend them whenever people talked about bakeries. I’d give them marketing tips, I’d schedule business meetings there. Supporting goals you UNDERSTAND is easy.
Kids’ goals, though, are a bit harder to understand, but a lot easier to help with.
All I need to do here is NOT get rid of the rabbit.
When a kid says “can you spell barbie for me” that’s their goal. Or, perhaps their goal is to get to barbie.com. Either way, they don’t start out with business plans.
Some parents will say “look it up”
Which means “Good luck with that goal. I know how to do it but you’re not getting any help from me. Figure it out your own self.”
Another parent may say “Sound it out”
Which means “work for it”
When my little girls ask, I just spell it for them. Goal reached. Now she’s tasted success, reached her communication goals, and knows how it feels to be supported.
I made a decision to say “I will do everything in my power to help you reach your goal.”
That’s what I would want. That’s what I’d do for my husband. That’s what I’d do for a friend.
So technically nothing has changed, except for my attitude. The old me would have gotten rid of the rabbit, thinking that the rabbit’s safety was in jeopardy. The new me is taking responsibility for the rabbit’s safety and subsequently for my daughter’s experience.
Instead of learning that we are obstacles to her happiness, she is learning that her success is important to us and that we’ll help her. Isn’t that what life is all about, helping one another?
I grew up with a feeling that asking for help was wrong. I still have trouble depending upon the people around me. Isn’t that what families are for? In any relationship, it’s important to help one another meet their needs.
I had to repeat that revelation several times tonight.
“I will do everything in my power to make sure that you reach your goals.”
I think it’s VERY important.
Imagine how empowering it would be to believe that everyone around you was ready to help you reach your goals.
Update- this was written about a week ago. I hadn’t intended on posting it, I was going to keep it archived. However, I made a habit of scooping the rabbit’s litter box and letting it out to hop around each day and she’s taken over a few times, to do it. I’m really surprised with myself, though. Something that I was so stressed out by is now completely gone, just because I changed my thinking about it.
What’s your parenting pet peeve? How can you change your thinking? I actually enjoy taking care of that rabbit, now. Like wrapping a birthday gift or knitting a hat for a new baby. When I do it, I know I am helping. That’s how caring for another creature should feel, not like a chore.
A friend of mine in California has 5 children, 4 of whom were diagnosed with epilepsy after the last one was born.
It was a recessive gene that neither parent knew they carried, if I remember correctly.
I might not remember correctly after ten years, but I’ll do my best to share the details I remember, then you can go read her story for yourself if it sounds unbelievable. Because it might.
Anyway, I met her in 1997 and most of this happened right around the time that ADD and ADHD started to become “popular” and doctors first tried to treat her epileptic children with the some of the same drugs they were using on kids with “behavior problems” some were really harsh and would make him zombie-like. Jennifer didn’t know which was worse, the drugs or the seizures. No medication “worked” he became “drugged,” “clumsy,” and “zoned out” and to top it off, they didn’t get rid of the seizures.
So she sees a lifetime movie, based on a true story, of a man whose son was cured using a diet that had been developed- and used as an epilepsy treatment, in the 1930’s.
OK this was like 1995-ish
So a dietary cure for epilepsy was documented, filmed, written about and USED AS MEDICINE – 60 years ago. None of her doctors had heard of it- and the one who did believed that it hadn’t been effective. He referred her to someone though- and she did some research online- about “The Ketogenic diet”
It’s very strict- extremely high fat (brain nourishment) and ABSOLUTELY NO CARBS.
The “dangerous medical condition,” ketosis, that opponents of carb-free diets try to warn about, is actually the GOAL of this “epilepsy diet”
Because it has such a powerful affect upon the body’s chemistry, it’s dangerous. It has to be administered in a clinical setting, you can’t just go home & change your diet. They have to monitor your blood chemistry like HOURLY and compare it with every calorie and gram of food you’re eating. A personalized meal plan must be developed using the patient’s specific chemistry and re-evaluated like every single week, until it’s right. With kids, their body’s needs change so fast. the perfect menu this week could cause problems next week.
So you can imagine how hard it was for this woman to feed her kids. She ended up with 4 of them on the diet at a time.
4 separate spreadsheets with precise measurements of each food (which must be eaten at a specific time) and it wasn’t just regular food either, it was like peanut butter, heavy cream, iceberg lettuce…
And the kids WANT other food. They don’t realize that it can KILL them.
Well here’s the thing.
Medicine doesn’t cure epilepsy. It’s not something kids grow out of. It’s a one way street.
My late aunt Elaine was epileptic and she was on medication her entire life.
The diet, however, has cured these kids of their epilepsy.
Alex was having like 200 seizures a day. even when he was drugged, he was still having seizures.
He is about 16 now and hasn’t had one in years.
He’s also not on the diet anymore.
Anyway- I always thought Jennifer was one of the most amazing moms I know. Life with 4 kids on the diet, and being a fun homeschooling mom, was so hard- her sanity, marriage and house probably all suffered at times. The amount of stress her & her husband were under was just exhausting. And their heads were both held high the entire time. They always had smiles for the kids, for friends and usually for each other They both also worked hard every year to put on a golf fundraiser to rise money for scientific research into developing more facilities to treat epileptic kids – AND to make insurance pay for it.
Imagine- they had to pay CASH.
4 kids in and out of inpatient and outpatient treatment over a few years. Her husband was unemployed for a little while, then he worked at Disney. The man was driving 2-3 HOURS to get to work. I always thought they deserved some “parents of the year” award. And their parents were very supportive, too. Sometimes when they had doctor appointments (3-4 hour drive) away, they’d cut a few hours off the drive time by staying there overnight.
I haven’t spoken to her in almost 10 years . I peeked at her facebook, noticed all her kids looked healthy in the pictures, and kept meaning to catch up with her one of these days.
So today, I see that she blogged about their story a little (with links to her older posts) about Epilepsy month and I just wanted to tell her story a little better,with the glory she deserves (because she’s not tooting her own horn and because I want to share the amazing diet with families who may need it. THAT is the magic of the internet.
People string together a bunch of videos of their choosing (usually around a central theme) and you can watch them all in a row.
I’m currently avoiding writing an article on mesothelioma listening to Sandra Dodd. She’s outspoken and it’s a good thing, but she’s one of the ones who scared me away from the lifestyle a few years ago because her way of communicating is just a bit on the harsh side. I waver between loving her brash and straightforward style and cringing when she ‘attacks” people who ask questions before reading the books. Now, I’m loving her for it but mostly, I’m sad that her amazing message gets mixed up in the same fire that she’s using to be wonderful. I wish I was able to “see through” that harsh method of communicating a few years ago.
Anyway- here’s the playlist that I’m currently listening to, you can literally put it on and walk away and never stop listening. I wish I could fit my computer in my pocket and listen like an iPod.
It’s no secret that our culture has some mental issues. My philosophy is that it’s all because of how we were raised. A lot of people who were children during the depression are either pack rats now or minimalists, responding adversely to an extreme situation.
The daily decisions we make as parents, based upon underlying parental myths, can cause children to grow up with crazy misconceptions about their place in the world, altering their understanding of themselves and, well, ruining life, sort of.
#1- your children are demons, sent by satan to turn your godly home into chaos.
There’s actually a series of “child training” books on the market that teaches unsuspecting new parents to believe this load of crap. Here’s the truth:
Babies aren’t inherently evil. It’s just difficult to communicate when you’re learning a new language. Especially when, physically, your body is designed to be dependent upon an adult caregiver. That’s just the way it is. Sure, it might feel like they have an ulterior motive at times, but I assure you that they don’t.
As a matter of fact, I’m sure that if you confront your baby directly, they’ll have to respond with truthfulness, much like an undercover police officer must tell the truth when confronted. Just say, point blank “Are you a messenger from Satan?” Your baby will undoubtedly answer “WTF? You and dad made me, I am a whole and perfect creation. Get a grip and go read Dr Sears instead of backwoods Tennessee preachers.”
Adhering to this belief will systematically turn your child into a creature that’s too scared to assert their own will or to ask questions and think for themselves. An entire generation of people who adhere to this belief will end up handing over their lives to politicians, drug companies and processed food companies because they have never made a decision for themselves and believe that they’re too stupid to make their own decisions and that nature isn’t designed to meet their needs. They’re living under the erroneous assumption that “the people in charge know my needs better than I do, so I will shut up, blend in and not make a fuss, otherwise they will hit me. They’ll be completely out of touch with ANY inner guidance system and will constantly be looking to experts for guidance, rather than making their own decisions. They’ll be unhappy to the core, even if you’ve taught them that they must smile (Yes, that’s part of the “training” program)
If evil exists, it lies in this type of parenting that, contrary to its name, isn’t “baby wise” but absolutely and completely against every morsel of scientific research into human behavior and psychology. This article from Atheist Homeschool gives more detail on the method.
On the next edition of Parenting Myths That can Ruin Your Family: Kids are too stupid to know whether or not they’re cold or hungry whereby parents must constantly force their kids to eat and wear jackets. Subscribe now, you don’t want to miss this one.
On good days, I don’t even believe that bad days exist.
“Life’s what you make it,” right?
maybe it’s hormones.
maybe it’s the changing weather
maybe it’s an unexpected bill that makes me change my plans and work my butt off when I’d rather be playing or crocheting or painting or writing (for fun) or reading or driving my kids around or cleaning or having my nose hairs plucked out individually.
Maybe it’s the powerlessness of feeling out of control
That’s it. That’s always all it is, isn’t it. I’m telling you, people have no idea how hard it is to be a control freak. Or a perfectionist.
Evelyn has been out of diapers for about a month now. All my girls learned how to use the potty around the same age. I don’t have any potty-training secrets, except that when they don’t want to wear diapers, don’t force them and when they want to wear panties, embrace it. It’s been my experience that somewhere between 12 and 24 months, little girls decide that panties are more fun than diapers. who can blame them? We don’t give treats for peeing, with the exception of the “yeah you peed in the potty” song which is a spontaneous performance that’s initiated by the child’s own delight at having heard their pee hit the toilet water for the first time. Talk about a rush. We don’t use pull-ups and pretend that they’re anything other than diapers. We don’t punish anybody for peeing elsewhere.
Today, for whatever reason, she peed on my bed. She’d been a little out-of-sorts all day and well, actually, so have I.
So there’s pee on my bed. Fine. I’ll just add that to the list of things that have annoyed me since 6:12 a.m. (that’s when today started)
Luckily it’s just a teeny bit of pee. She was playing with Grace and they were tickling eachother. Who wants to stop to use the toilet when they can just keep playing, right? Perhaps she’s testing the limit of her bladder. Either way, there’s pee on my bed.
When she noticed it, she yelled POTTY POTTY POTTY and finished in the bathroom. She’ll get the hang of it. Today might be the first day I haven’t asked her if she wanted to go potty with me. I just wasn’t in the mood for company, y’know.
So I pull off the sheets, use a disposable diaper to suck up the pee (Isn’t that genius, disposable diapers are like moisture magnets, they can get spills out of carpets and pillows, too. I’m just saying…)
Pee is sucked up. I scrub. Warm water and baking soda. I figure that the disposable diapers killed enough trees that I don’t need to use chemical cleaners where we lay our heads, right.
Actually, I’m totally lying, I just used water. This isn’t our first wet bed and I really just plan to turn the mattress over later on because that makes pee disappear.
Don’t tell me otherwise, I’m really not in the mood.
So we head out the door, the bed is air-drying a bit and I have two kids that need to be at play rehearsal. Such is the life of a diva’s mom. What’s the plural of diva? Divas, so if I’m the mom of divas, then I should say such is the life of a divas’ mom? Would that be a posessive plural? I could look this up or continue. I’ll continue, my readers love it when I complain. All this stuff is really true, where’s my sympathy?
So anyway- we’re in the car, driving to rehearsal. Someone left a pear in the backseat so we’re swatting fruit flies while we drive. Whatever. One of the divas insists upon sushi for a rehearsal snack. Every time she’s in a play, she finds a food-centric way to kiss up to the director, and this director likes sushi. So sushi it is for lunch. Where does she get these ideas, and how cool is it that my 12 yr old likes sushi? Actually, she decided to like it before she tried it because she thought it was cool. But her mouth didn’t agree right away and it’s a good thing I like sushi because she made me buy it like 4 times and FORCED herself to eat it until she could appreciate it. Now it’s one of her favorite foods.
Anyway- to the store for sushi.
There’s a starbucks in the store.
I see a man at the Starbucks- hopefully he has some sort of thyroid condition because I’d hate to think he had eaten himself into that size. He was in a wheelchair and his skin was pressing through all of the cracks, like the chair was going to explode. The food items in his basket were diet coke, cream cheese, bakery cupcakes, beef jerky and ketchup. In my mind, I wonder if he thinks that could represents all 4 food groups, then I decide he’s probably just ordering coffee and my nasty little mind should stop thinking mean thoughts. So I smile and try to mimic the “I love everyone” smile that I usually have but I’m just not feeling it today.
We make it through the store uneventfully. I choose organic produce because I know that’s what “better-me” does and I’m in no condition to make decisions about anyone’s well-being when I’m feeling rotten. But honestly, at this moment, who the heck cares if the produce is organic, everything else is toxic.
Anyway- back in the car. Me, my divas, the organic produce and the fruit flies. I just realized that was a little ironic.
Then I realize that the guy at starbucks probably didn’t have fruit flies in his car.
whoa_ BACK UP- REWIND- BACK TO THE CHECKSTAND.
Caps weren’t intended there, but I’m too lazy to take them away. Some days you just don’t care.
Plus it makes a nice visual indicator that we’re going back in time, otherwise you’d be surprised by the following sentence.
We’re at the check stand and I notice a whole slew of people at Starbucks GETTING FLU SHOTS.
Those caps were intended.
WTF?? At Starbucks? Excuse me, I’ll have a 24 ounce latte and enough mercury for a 550 pound man. OMG- I wonder if that guy was 550 pounds? He wasn’t getting a flu shot but I bet he might feel nice knowing that he’s the only one in the store who wouldn’t be getting more than their daily dose of mercury. Is that really my most generous thought of the day?
Either way, that wasn’t the point.
I just thought it was twisted to see medical procedures being administered at Starbucks.
They had nurses and alcohol swabs, clipboards with forms to fill out and tons of people sitting there waiting to bet their flu shot. It was surreal. I was glad my kids were waiting in the car because I was in no mood to talk, especially about THAT. I wanted to just cough on all of them, just for being there.
Are they consciously deciding to subject their system to this unnatural event, or are they just not smart enough to research the matter, allowing themselves to be spoon-fed the fruits of an economy that nurtures the medical establishment by marketing foods that actually make people sick?
I wonder if anyone waiting for the flu shot is on a raw food diet. I need to start eating better. We should have my chinese salad for dinner. I forgot there’s a potroast in the crockpot. Of course, it’s that kind of day. maybe I will have a chicken salad and everyone else can eat the pot roast. Maybe I’ll have both.
Anyways, so we’re back in the car
FOR REAL THIS TIME
Drop off the drama queens, to practice for their roles in Robinson Crusoe.
Drive the other kids home. They’re flipping through the most recent edition of Woman’s Day in the backseat. We discuss the advertisements, recipes and article headlines in the car. A picture of a 10 yr old with cleft palate advertises for a charity that helps foreign kids get surgery.
I contemplate whether or not we, as a society, are helped or harmed by cleft palate surgery. If there’s a God, perhaps he places “imperfect” people in the world to remind us all of how truly lucky we are.
Please know that the reason I put the word imperfect in quotation marks is because I grew up with a cousin who had cerebral palsy. He wasn’t imperfect, he WAS perfect. More perfect than anyone I’ve ever known.
Untarnished by a world he couldn’t comprehend, he lived with complete love and affection from everyone around him. Unable to move independently or speak words, he never got into any trouble, no one was ever angry with him. He was completely unjaded, he smiled and laughed at all times. If he was in physical pain, he’d cry. He was exactly everything he was supposed to be, just as he was. Is it really noble to try and make everyone “normal?”
I wonder if cleft palate babies can nurse. I’ll bet suction is difficult. I wonder if there was a time when they’d all die. I wonder if it’s possible to feed a child by squirting milk in to their mouth. I mean, I wonder if your milk supply would be OK. Then, I am reminded that in cases like that, bottles are also a good application of technology.
Then, I wonder why I always evaluate the psycho-social effects of technology and medicine when I’m depressed.
You know, it was the doctors who killed my cousin. During his tracheotomy, they left a cord touching his heart and his body died fighting with the foreign object. My sister and I were visiting that day, blood started to come through his tubes. I think I was 12 or something.
My kids have pulled all the coins from the car to send to the boy for his surgery.
How is it possible to think all of these thoughts simultaneously, we’re not even halfway home yet.
The rest of the drive home we discuss pearl onions, fruit flies, and a variety of other things.
I discover that someone left the door open and muddy dogs have trampled in and out of the house. There’s wet dog smell and dirt on my mattress.
Perhaps I’m feeling better. I’m kind of glad for bad days. If every crappy thing in life could confine itself to one day a month, that would be cool. I can’t wait for dinner, pot roast smells so good.
Peppers in your eye? Rinse with cold water for 15 minutes to relieve the burning.
(forgive me for being so quick about getting to the point unlike another blogger who made me read through squinted teary eyes about her whole family history and traumatic pepper in the eyes experience before finally getting to the point about what to do when you get pepper in your eye.)
Actually, I am extremely grateful to her because otherwise i would have had to follow my husband’s suggestion to hold a slice of bread up to my eye.
Actually, I’ll admit that I did try his stupid bread suggestion, but I didn’t think it would work, I just felt like I was depending upon the internet a little too much and wanted to use my brain instead of google’s to find the answer, but I couldn’t for the life of me decide whether the pepper was an acid or a base.
Here are some of the suggestions from the goofballs that answer questions on yahoo and wiki answers…
milk
tomato juice
call 911
go to the doctor
ice
next time just eat the peppers
tea bags
submerge your head in ice water
go to the hospital
call a doctor in the morning
aloe vera body lotion
pure aloe vera
benadryl
Anyway- it’s better now and I’m not blind. And it was just plain bell peppers. I think.
And apparently most people are smart enough to wear gloves when they cut peppers. It’s a good thing I didn’t go potty afterward.
As a homeschooling mom, I try not to rant about the educational system too much. As a wish-I-was-cool-enough-to-be-a-real-radical-unschooler, I try to show the ways kids learn in real-life situations. I’m not out to convert someone to a lifestyle they’re not comfortable with, but I’d like them to cheerfully discover how awesome learning and life can be.
So I’m writing this series of articles over at Type-A Mom that will be turned into an eBook. So far it’s called Homeschool Kindergarten Science Activities or something like that.
Basically, if you’ve never noticed, Kindergarten Science is a joke. Can I say that? Social Studies is, too but that’s another story. Let’s talk Science here.
Come along with me- google “kindergarten standards” and let’s just grab the first document that comes up. For me, it was the Illinois Early learning Standards. My apologies, Illinois.
So apparently they’re trying to adhere to “State Goal 11″
which states that kindergarteners should “Understand the processes of scientific inquiry and technological design
to investigate questions, conduct experiments and solve problems.”
It’s a lot of big words that say basically that kids should understand how to investigate matters.
Additionally, they are being held accountable for adhering to “Learning Standard A” which requires kids to “Know and apply the concepts, principles and processes of scientific inquiry.” Which, basically, says the same darned thing as “State goal 11″
Find me a five year old somewhere on the planet who doesn’t investigate things. Are kids these days still asking “WHy?” every ten minutes? It gets more ridiculous, though. They actually spell out the innate logical process that children should be “taught” to go through in order to figure things out. Here are the “Benchmarks.” (I left the complicated numbering system in place in the interest of full disclosure and mockery of the systematic multigazilliondollar shammery)
“11.A.Ka Use senses to explore and observe materials.
11.A.Kb Begin to develop questions on scientific topics, such as
natural phenomena.
11.A.Kc Seek information through observation, exploration,
and investigations.
11.A.Kd Collect, describe, compare and record information.”
UM- OK, so how can I say in my article that kids NATURALLY “explore and observe materials” it’s called bringing frogs in the house, jumping in mud puddles, climbing trees, staring at the lake for ten minutes watching the ripples on the water. BUT- a serious educator might ask- are they using their senses? Better not take any chances here, “Johhny, be sure you smell everything.” What the heck is this? This is REAL LIFE KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM GOALS FOR SCIENCE.
Let’s look at benchmark #11a.kb “Begin to develop questions on scientific topics, such as natural phenomena.” So apparently, if you’ve ever hear the question “Mommy, why is the sky blue?” then youre OK, right. “Why do the birds chirp in the morning?” “Why do bees make honey?” Goshgollygeewhiz, that’s three questions. Must be an over-achiever.
I’m going to skim down into another area of garbage. How can parents not SEE that this isn’t learning, that while the language might be full of big words here- they’re really just taking kids natural habits and turning them INTO “lessons.” So kids end up not WANTING to explore anymore because everything they might have been interested in has been drizzled down into fragmented crap with big words attached.
Ok- I was going to scroll down a bit.
You know what, I’m not going to. it just keeps getting more and more stupid.
In benchmark # 12.E.K.a kids in kindergarten are supposed to BEGIN to notice the weather. Excuse me- my 15 month old can say rain and snow, this is NOT a SKILL that 5 year olds need to be taught.
None of these things are.
Every single one of these stupid stupid things that have been edu-fied into gobbledygook “benchmarks” reflects NATURAL things kids learn just from conversation. Do they really think kids just DON’t NOTICE the weather until their teacher points it out?
So my task here is to write up articles about real-life kindergarten Science learning activities, so parents don’t buy into the idea that kids need a worksheet to learn that the sky is blue.
But here’s what really got my goat. I couldn’t find any national standards. I don’t want to write the article based upon a state’s standards because I know some parents really want to use THEIR state’s guidelines. I went to www.ed.gov, for the US Department of Education, and there’s a lot of STUFF on their site, but no national standards. Do we HAVE no national standards? Not that I care that much- I mean, I think they’re all garbage anyways, but do we really honestly have each state spend a fortune producing and periodically updating their OWN set of standards? Could this be true? So then what is NCLB based upon? Is each state really making up their own rules?
What a formula for disaster. No wonder the goals are so low. The system rewards low standards.
I hope I’m wrong about this, and that there are national standards with a different name and maybe that’s why I didn’t find them.
Not that it would affect what we do in our home. But then at least I can write about how much bunk they are. No wonder they’re hard to find. I’ll bet they do exist and they’re so stupid that they’re afraid someone like me will read it and their whole game will be up. Yeah.
I really just want to cut through the big words and make sure parents know- it’s no mystery, you can do this, and you probably already did. Kids are awesome. Can you tell; mine are all asleep.
(because every attempt I’ve made at public speaking has 
by Richard Bach (it’s smaller than I expected, I’m surprised))
because, well… I married a man who does business on a handshake.
by Alfie Kohn (this is for tonight- I nabbed it at Goodwill today)
by William P…something(though after skimming it, it doesn’t look as good as I thought it would be)
by Marni Jameson (I scored a review copy from the publisher. I love the subtitle “How to make- and keep- a beautiful home despite cheap spouses, messy kids and other difficult roomates” )
(though I’m not really reading it, I’m skimming and checking to see which books are missing from our home library)
(totally reading this, high school hasn’t taught me enough about the government and since I fantasize about law school, I figured I could choke this down like candy, right?)
” by Sonya Sones
” by Ann Brashares.
” by Ann Brashares.
” by Ann Brashares.
” by Ann Brashares.
” by Julie Halpern.
” by Sonya Sones.
They both also worked hard every year to put on a golf fundraiser to rise money for scientific research into developing more facilities to treat epileptic kids – AND to make insurance pay for it.
As a homeschooling mom, I try not to rant about the educational system too much. As a wish-I-was-cool-enough-to-be-a-real-radical-unschooler, I try to show the ways kids learn in real-life situations. I’m not out to convert someone to a lifestyle they’re not comfortable with, but I’d like them to cheerfully discover how awesome learning and life can be.
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